So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
