Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
from now on my penis is your penis
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
