weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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