I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
