i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
3 2 1 whiskey
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
