I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize