I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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