we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
