I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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