He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
