hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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