sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
