ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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