would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
