Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
