Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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