Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
