Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
