I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
