I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
