You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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