so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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