But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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