Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
