idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
