oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
