fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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