you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
