I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
