If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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