i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
