She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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