this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
