Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
