all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
