He told me they were just razor bumps!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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