i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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