We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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