she woke up with a sticky ear
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
