come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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