I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
