Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
