He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
