You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
