Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
