During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
We got so high we made milksteak
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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