he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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