The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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