i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
