just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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